I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i out mim tonsoeep
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
