Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
