I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
