i was rollin on her like bob the builder
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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