Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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