So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
