I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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