dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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