I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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