STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
