Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
