Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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