quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize