i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
