whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
