Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
