belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Less talking, more tequila
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
