so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
