And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
