Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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