I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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