I wish I could teleport
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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