how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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