I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
