At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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