Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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