Cold hands, warm shart.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
