aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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