she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
