don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
