I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
