i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Your cock deserves a montage
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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