yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
