Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
