I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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