Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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