Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
