i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
