didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
