Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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