She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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