just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
