Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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