so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
