Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
