C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
