She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
