Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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