whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
