i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I want to walk on stilts...naked
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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