I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize