I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
