oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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