tell your sister to shave her snatch
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
