Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
