I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
