On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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