Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
