so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The beer is more important than you right now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
