Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
