my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
