you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it was like eating out sand paper
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Enjoy the penises
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
